A – Excellent
B – Good
C – Mediocre
D – Avoid
Release Date: November 3rd
2014
Price:
DVD £12.99
Blu-ray £13.99
Format Reviewed:
DVD Only
What It’s About:
WWE’s
stop-motion animation featuring the action figures produced solely for the
younger generation. Seeing a mysterious masked wrestler called The Finisher
kidnap Vince McMahon and fire all WWE superstars, our favourite stars (or at
least those they’ve produced figures for) are forced to get every day jobs
around Slam City where this fictional world is set. This release includes all
26 episodes of the first season across forty eight minutes, featuring a variety
of voice talents which include some WWE stars and some actors portraying WWE
stars.
Strengths:
The
story begins with John Cena vs The Rock doing battle when the pair are
interrupted by a mysterious masked figure who calls himself, The Finisher.
Claiming that he’s working on behalf of Vince McMahon, The Finisher fires all
WWE stars with immediate effect whilst giving no reason for the action. This
opens the door to a longer story arc which we’re made to wait to find out the
extent of. It’s an ingenious ploy by WWE to keep its audience hooked with the
questions of why Vince McMahon would want to fire his talent and just who is
The Finisher and what his real motives are. It reminds of the best Scooby Doo
episodes that have ever been made. Not too much too soon and you actually want
to find out the answer.
‘Auto-Tude
Adjustment’ is the first story on the release and sees John Cena being hired by
a garage who has a list of jobs to complete as long as their arm. Obviously,
this is set in a reality where John Cena’s divorce didn’t work out so well for
him and he has nothing to his name. For those who weren’t quite sure, that was
a little satire there. Laugh whenever you like. Using his superhuman powers
which he employs in the ring to make a comeback after being beaten down, John Cena
completes the jobs to earn his place as a mechanic in an amusing beginning to
the release. His garage owner boss provides the laughs by commenting every time
the picture does a freeze frame on Cena, whose figure has his trademark smirk.
‘Alberto
the Barista’ crosses town to find Alberto Del Rio working as a server in a
coffee shop. The aged owner once again makes this a hoot of a viewing with his
amusing comments, but the star of this short segment is Damien Sandow who comes
in to complain about his coffee and abuses Alberto Del Rio in traditional
Scooby Doo style and even ends up picking his nose in a hilarious segment.
Predictably, the pair engages in a brawl around the shop using cups of coffee
and snacks as weapons.
‘Not
Enough For Ya?’ focuses on Kane working in a school canteen and hating every
minute of it. Glen Jacobs on vocals is always good for a laugh and conveys his
hatred of the job perfectly in a conversation with an unruly child who feels
the full wrath of Kane, when ‘The Big Red Machine’ re-cooks his feud by using
the fire he summons from the ring post in this short episode which will raise
many chuckles mostly from an adult audience.
‘Big
Brawl’ begins with Big Show attempting to get through John Cena’s garage door
in excellent, farce style. Ripping the door off of its hinges when he can’t get
through, Big Show demands that John Cena mend his car only for Cena to refuse
and make ring ropes from jumper cables. Their battle is a hundred times more
entertaining than the pair have had in reality and ends in a hilarious moment
when John Cena stuffs Big Show inside a wind-up car and sends him on his way.
‘Cafeteria
Chaos’ flits back to Kane who still isn’t enjoying his stint the school
cafeteria and showing it. Uncaring about how he serves food, Kane evokes
massive chortles by serving pizza kebab on massive sharp spikes which look like
they’ve just been retrieved from the very bowels of hell. Challenged for his
position by Santino Marella, Kane and Santino engage in a food themed brawl
which ends when Kane makes Santino into a pizza and throws him out of the
window to A.J Lee. It’s a little disturbing for a very young audience, but
still very effective.
‘The
Crossing Guard’ looks at Rey Mysterio working as what us Brits call a lollypop
man outside a school. Once he’s helped an old lady to her Lucha Libre class,
Mysterio becomes trapped on the wrong side of the road with school about to
come to an end. Turning into an amusing parody of a nineteen eighties video
game or more accurately, Frogger, Mysterio attempts to cross the road by using
his lucha skills to leap on and off of moving vehicles. It’s a very well done
piece which ends when Mysterio lands in front of an oncoming truck and has to
be saved by the old woman he first helped across the street. This won’t hold
much for adults, but kids will be enchanted.
‘Surround
Pound Stadium Beating: Part 1’ is an amusing little tale in three parts.
Working as a cinema usher, Sheamus looks a terrific sight in his get-ups and
soon finds himself dealing with an unruly Brock Lesnar who won’t quiet down.
Partaking in a duel in which Brock Lesnar uses his sub sandwich as a sword and
Sheamus makes a lightsaber from his usher’s torch, the pair ends up in the
movie being shown which proves to be an ample cliff-hanger.
‘Perky
the Penguin’ sees Mark Henry working in a Pizza Palace as a waiter dressed as a
penguin. Hating his job, Mark Henry is forced to battle robot penguins after
they throw a pizza into his face and turn evil. Mark Henry’s reaction to being
pelted with a pizza is priceless and something the entire family can have a
ball watching. His actual fight with the robot animals brings back memories of
John Cleese thrashing his car with a branch in Fawlty Towers.
‘Battle
For the Streets’ perks up Rey Mysterio’s segments when he’s forced to fight
Damien Sandow for his job as lollypop man. Damien Sandow is once again
wonderfully cocky which makes this even more fun to watch and his interactions
with Rey Mysterio are just excellent. In traditional animation style, Rey
Mysterio sticks his hand down a drain only for it to come out the other side
and slap Sandow before leaping across the road and halting in mid-air because
Sandow is holding the stop sign the wrong way around. Damien Sandow is wonderfully
comical, jumping into an old woman’s arms as a truck speeds towards them and
the end in which Rey Mysterio goes to bump fists with him and then punches him
in the face is glorious.
‘Surround
Pound Stadium Beating: Part 2’ proves to be a decent continuation of the story
which sees Sheamus and Brock Lesnar do battle in a movie orientated world.
Arriving in a western, both men compete in a western orientated montage before
Sheamus breaks the walkie talkie which controls the settings and the pair end
up in a romantic comedy which signals another cliff-hanger. It’s a very well
done piece.
‘The
Finisher’ delves back into the main story arc and fleshes out the base which
this series is built upon. The Finisher is revealed to have kidnapped Vince
McMahon and lock him in a safe because he wants to be the only wrestler in the
world and WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Going on a hunt for the title, The
Finisher goes through several of the wrestler’s jobs looking for the gold
before its revealed John Cena has it safely tucked away in his drawer in the
garage. The Finisher is a great villain for children to hate and one which
possesses such power that it’s satisfying when he gets his final comeuppance.
‘Coffee
Showdown’ begins with The Miz walking into Alberto Del Rio’s coffee shop
needing to use the bathroom. Refusing to allow him entry, Del Rio tells The Miz
that the facilities are only for paying customers whilst The Miz pulls out his
quick retort book and fires back with “I wouldn’t pay you attention!” A pretty
decent battle ensues, but once again it’s the coffee shop owner who makes the
scene what it is with his quick witted comments.
‘We
All Scream For Ice Cream’ makes the most of C.M Punk’s time as an ice cream
seller when he serves Kane an ice cream with sprinkles on it. Protesting that
he doesn’t like sprinkles, Kane is a ball of comedy when refusing to allow Punk
to take them off and looking around before eating the ice cream. Once again,
Damien Sandow appears to take Punk’s job from him in a running gag and looks
like he’s going to get the better of him until Punk counters by yelling that
Kane had sprinkles which brings Kane back in a rage to get rid of Sandow in a
very well done segment.
‘Resistant
Gorilla’ is possibly the funniest episode on this release thanks to some quick
witted humour by the writing staff. For the first time on the release, Randy
Orton appears as a Zoo keeper. He’s amusing when talking to his animals but
where this excels is in its flashback when Randy Orton tries to give a gorilla named
Sheila a bath. In Family Guy tradition, Randy Orton says “This is worse than
the time I tried to give that penguin a bath” before the segment cuts to a
flashback of Mark Henry sitting in a bath dressed as the penguin, looking at
Randy Orton and stating “Don’t even think about it!” If that doesn’t make your
day, nothing will. The battle with the gorilla is decent and ends in another
funny segment when Randy Orton lands in the bath with his primate friend and
says, “This will be our secret Sheila, ok?” before the gorilla kisses him on
the cheek.
‘Surround
Pound Stadium Beating: Part 3’ bring the three part story to a decent if
unspectacular close. It’s the conclusion children will be waiting for having
sat through two other parts and won’t disappoint younger fans as Sheamus and
Brock Lesnar get down to a good brawl after a little silliness. Knocking each
other into different countries including Italy, England, Egypt and India the
pair finally arrive back at Slam City theatre where they call a truce to their
battle. WWE intend this piece to carry a message for children, that fighting
gets you nowhere. Well, except a multi-million dollar business and a place in
history that is.
‘Who
is the Apex Serpent?’ sees Santino Marella come to Randy Orton’s zoo in search
of the job Orton currently occupies. Predictably, the pair battle out their
differences in a good brawl which rolls past Sheila the gorilla in the bath tub
whose expressions are just brilliant. The scene ends with Randy Orton putting
Santino Marella in a cage before Stone Cold Steve Austin arrives to claim that
rattlesnakes are better than vipers and throw Orton in a separate cage. It’s an
entertaining little scene but as its coming to the end of the release, you can
really see the makers struggling for new ideas.
‘Recipe
For Disaster’ amuses thanks to Kane. Having not enjoyed his job at a school
cafeteria for the whole release, Kane is finally enjoying his time serving
children food when a wanderer enters the school with a goat and reveals himself
to be Daniel Bryan, who says that he has travelled far for Kane’s pudding
recipe. Defending the secret with his life, Kane reigns fire-meatballs down on
his former partner who takes refuge behind a table in a very well done and
believable fight scene. Their battle ends with a Bryan victory but then the
party is crashed by Rey Mysterio who declares a food fight.
‘Best
Dessert in the World’ brings C.M Punk’s tale to a close when Mark Henry arrives
for an ice cream and a cat and mouse chase ensues. The highlight of a somewhat
un-enjoyable section for adults is Punk diving into his truck only for Henry to
open it up and be unable to find him, only for Punk to be standing by a tree.
Children will find this amusing but adults will just have to grin and bear it,
it doesn’t last long.
‘Randy
Gets His Goat’ is the final proper story on the release before it switches to
the two part finale and it’s a wholesome tale to go out on. Instructed to find
a goat on a mountain, Randy Orton travels up the mountain to find Daniel Bryan
waiting for him in a funny piece but in reality there isn’t much to it. Saying
that, as this is so close to a rewarding finale I doubt anyone will care about
its quality.
‘Finale:
Part 1’ sees The Finisher finally finding the WWE World Heavyweight
Championship which is stashed in John Cena’s draw at the garage where he works
and sleeps. Catching The Finisher in the act, Cena leaps into action and the
pair battle it out before The Finisher gets the upper hand and hits Cena with
several finishing moves including his own which the puppet sells about as well
as the real person. Stealing the title, Slam City is set up for an interesting
final episode which promises a great deal. John Cena fans will be enchanted by
this episode and the second part which follows.
‘Finale:
Part 2’ brings the last forty eight minutes to a close in style. Opening on
John Cena inside a WWE ring challenging The Finisher to a fight, Cena is
dropped through a trap door in the ring and finds himself in The Finisher’s own
stadium and ring which is booby trapped. Children will fear for John Cena as he
battles seemingly unbeatable odds and cheer as The Rock takes The Finisher by
surprise and he and Cena finally defeat the man who has brought down WWE.
Attempting to save Vince McMahon, John Cena and The Rock instead find a video
message from The Finisher inside the vault who says that he will return. It’s a
tense finale which leaves questions unanswered such as the whereabouts of Vince
McMahon and whom The Finisher is, something which fans are on the verge of
finding out just before the release cuts off. It’s an excellent ploy to make
sure the next set of episodes are purchased.
As
for the DVD Extras: ‘The Making of Slam City’ is an interesting seven minute
look behind the scenes of the programme. Taking in the sets, the process of
filming which looks excruciating and the making of the puppets in the exact
same style of the figures this will interest adults more than children but it
does feature some instructions for children to make their own stop-motion
animation which is a bonus. The CGI removal wires is a quick but welcome
addition as if The Finisher challenging children to make their own conclusion
to the story.
Weaknesses:
‘Cold...Stone
Cold’ is the first real segment which doesn’t appeal. Seeing Stone Cold Steve
Austin enter Alberto Del Rio’s coffee shop and order his beverage stone cold,
as you could already guess, it’s merely a parade of different ways Alberto Del
Rio makes his drinks cold. Though Del Rio’s attempts do mildly amuse, it’s
clearly the weakest point up to its participation nearly twelve minutes in.
‘Sundae
in the Park’ reuses elements of ‘Cold....Stone Cold’ as C.M Punk works his ice
cream stall in the park. Ruining The Miz’s suit with hundreds and thousands,
C.M Punk and The Miz engage in a predictable brawl which uses the same formula
of sending The Miz into space to freeze that Alberto Del Rio used to chill
Austin’s drink. It’s repetitive but doesn’t last long, so shouldn’t send your
child or you off to do something else.
‘Between
a Rock and Pizza: Part 1’ does amuse as far as The Rock and Mark Henry working
in the same pizza place, but their battle is somewhat cliché and the story of
having to get their pizza back from a robot penguin is a little too daft especially
after Mark Henry has used up all the material by battling them. However, the
banter between The Rock and Mark Henry is entertaining with The Rock asking,
“Did that penguin just steal my pizza?” and Mark Henry answering back, “That’s
what he does!”
‘The
Wandering Nomad’ is dull and uninteresting, which sees Santino Marella homeless
and needing a job to pay for food. In its own way it’s a sad little piece which
traverses C.M Punk’s ice cream stool before Santino becomes mayor after an
impassioned speech. It’s a drag to get through especially after so many other
funny and interesting stories on display.
‘Between
a Rock and a Pizza: Part 2’ is another worthless entry, especially for a
multi-part story following Sheamus vs Brock Lesnar. There’s nothing interesting
about this as The Rock and Mark Henry track down their stolen pizza from the
robotic penguin, which takes in a battle with hundreds of robotic animals which
children should be able to get through but adults will be turned off by. This
is a repetitive brawl with no quality and a bad ending, because after all of
this the pair just gets another pizza made.
As
for the DVD Extras: ‘Mini Stories’ are just four of the superstars’ stories
lumped together to make one long story. There’s nothing you haven’t already sat
through and nothing you’ll want to sit through again. What would have been a
much more interesting inclusion would have been to go behind the scenes of the
action figures were made.
Conclusion:
‘WWE
Slam City’ may look primarily like a children’s cartoon on the surface and
indeed that’s the impression the cover gives off, but from the first scene of
The Finisher firing all WWE superstars in his quest to become the only wrestler
in the land and WWE World Heavyweight Champion, its clear WWE have done a
sterling job of attracting a family audience to this animation which parents
and children can enjoy together. Far just a children’s animation, Slam City
boasts some cracking gags adults can also enjoy and whilst dialogue is mostly
clunky there are moments of great quality which will have adults laughing out
loud.
Whether
this was an attempt to legitimately capitalize on the children’s market
currently thriving or a way to make sure their small figures sell more units
WWE and the production company which cobbles together the stop-motion animation
do a sterling job of bringing the action figures to life which will both
interest adults and captivate younger audience members for the duration of its
forty eight minutes which takes in twenty six short episodes. On top of the
humour, WWE have also been sure to include a few in jokes for the more
observational adult, such as John Cena’s superhuman strength which he employs
in the ring and Alberto Del Rio and C.M Punk working mundane jobs such as coffee
shop worker and ice cream man respectively. The two latter jobs are obviously
what WWE expect the pair to be doing now they have departed the company.
Though
all the voice cast are excellent in their roles, it’s quite hard to judge who
really is the wrestler and who isn’t. Almost certainly, John Cena, Kane, C.M
Punk, Damien Sandow and Rey Mysterio are present within the voice cast whilst
the rest are made up of imitators. This is never more noticeable than when
Stone Cold Steve Austin, Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton and Sheamus are present. The
latter has a terrible Irish accent which really should have been revised before
putting this out to the general public.
Though
it becomes a little samey towards the end and some stories use elements of
others before them, what sets this apart from other children’s releases is that
it’s not broken down into separate episode titles and instead flits across Slam
City to see what the stars are doing. Each has their own storyline across one
or several different days and instead of breaking up the stories, WWE should be
given credit for allowing it to flow as one massive story in the way British
comedy, The League of Gentlemen did during each episode. The highlight of this
release is an unemployed Damien Sandow, who searched out jobs from other
wrestlers and tries to prove he’s better than they are. Sandow is a hoot on
vocals and his character is a joy to witness when it pops up also.
I’m
not so sure this would appeal to non-wrestling fans as children who don’t know
the grappling game will struggle to identify with the characters, but Slam City
is a must for every child who loves WWE and even adults looking for a chuckle.
It’ll be the perfect present under the tree and appeals to all ages. The only
glaring problem you’ll have with this brilliant release is that once it’s
finished, you’re going to be spending out a fortune on the figures for the
little ones to play and recreate these amusing stories with. Almost certainly,
I could sit through another forty eight minutes of this as long as its as
embracing and hilarious as the first instalment.
Rating:
A
A – Excellent
B – Good
C – Mediocre
D – Avoid
Release Date: November 10th 2014
Price:
DVD £ 19.99
Format Reviewed:
DVD (6 Discs)
What It’s About:
The
previously released ‘Best of Raw and Smackdown 2013’ and ‘Best Pay-Per View
Matches 2013’ complied into one box.
Strengths:
From
the ‘Best of Raw and Smackdown 2013’:
C.M
Punk vs Ryback (Raw, January 7th) in a TLC Match for the WWE Championship is a
very good outing which is made all the more believable by Punk’s carrying of
the Goldberg wannabe and the way he works to his own strengths instead of
pandering to the monster. Ryback seems better suited working to others paces
more than his own. Not fond of wasting time here, one of Ryback’s finest ever
singles outings employs weapons early on to distract from any shortcomings
whilst Punk looks a million dollars considering he’s a man who has just
returned from knee surgery. Selling Ryback’s power to perfection, the bout does
take a dip when the former Skip Sheffield works over Punk’s leg but one cannot
gripe too much seeing as it’s all logical. Though I think it’s a sad reflection
on wrestling and Ryback today that when Punk tries to snap his challenger’s
ankle in a steel chair, it wouldn’t have mattered had he succeeded.
Refreshingly, this isn’t a hit and run bout, in which each try to grab the gold
at every opportunity. In fact neither bothers about the main prize of the match
until the very end and are content on destroying each other. Ryback’s missed
spear through a waiting table looks excellent and it’s around this time you
begin to get a different vibe when comparing this effort to other less
satisfactory TLC bouts – a good vibe though. Paul Heyman is excellent
throughout the bout and his selling, comments and faces are priceless. If the
match had been a stinker then it would still have been worth watching for
Heyman alone. The one downside is that as Punk was on a collision course with The
Rock at Royal Rumble he could have done with winning this bout without the help
of The Shield to look as strong as possible. However Roman Reigns Powerbomb
through a table and onto the ring steps is divine.
Alberto
Del Rio vs Big Show (Smackdown, January 11th) is their excellent Last Man
Standing bout for the World Heavyweight Championship where Alberto Del Rio
takes the step from jobber to main event star in one foul swoop. Looking like a
new man after his 2012 burial, Del Rio exudes emotion and makes you care about
his plight to be the Champion again. Through a well paced and exciting
encounter, the Mexican’s constant fight back really makes you want to stand up
and cheer for him which is a weird feeling seeing as it comes around so little
these days. The Cross Arm Breaker over the top rope is executed to perfection
and whilst Big Show looks genuinely lost for ideas after his Chokeslam fails to
put Del Rio down for the ten count, his refusal to stay down, even after a WMD
punch is a stirring moment as the challenger rolls out of the ring and lands on
his feet to break the count. This is the Alberto Del Rio we should have seen
more often when he was face, he’d have gone a long way. The last grasp attempt
to claim the gold is almost inspiring, depending on what gets you going.
Tipping the announce table onto Show is an ingenious and joyous moment in which
you feel really happy for Alberto even though you know how it ends. The
question is, can he do it again in 2014?
C.M
Punk and The Rock Confrontation (Smackdown, January 25th) is a very intense
piece of work between the two which is actually better than the matches they
had. Following a stupendous promo by Punk, The Rock comes to the ring and for
once is a man of very few words, though he hasn’t lost the knack of talking
like most would. It’s a rare moment in wrestling when one man talks and
actually takes you back to the good old days when everything was simpler and we
didn’t have to pick apart what was wrong with the business to make it better.
In a taut moment, The Rock gazes Punk in the eyes and with every ounce of
seriousness states that not only are the walls closing in but when he has Punk
elevated in The Rock Bottom ready to plough the champion into the canvas, the
last though in Punk’s mind before he’s driven to the mat will be “It’s Over”.
Knowing now that this would lead to the end of Punk’s historic WWE Championship
reign, it’s all somewhat poignant.
Vince
McMahon Confronts Paul Heyman (Raw, January 28th) is another outstanding
showcase of two men who know how to control an audience with words. Instead of
interrupting the boss and Heyman at every opportunity, the capacity crowd are
hooked on their every word. It’s a testament to the respect both men have
earned over the years. McMahon sanitising his hands after shaking Heyman’s paw
is a scream as is the seriousness in which Paul Heyman displays when trying to
duck out of his association with The Shield and Brad Maddox, through “You Got
Busted” chants, after video evidence is shown on the titan tron of him
admitting to paying both parties. Reeling off another thrilling promo, Paul
Heyman should be employed in a bigger role than he currently occupies and Vince
is flawless all the way through. His humour is second to none. If you listen
closely then you’ll find an in-joke from Vince and Heyman when Paul blurts out
that he can learn to be an honourable man from the boss, very few times has
Vince ever been honourable. Fans singing “Goodbye” to Heyman chirps up Vince
more than a million dollars in his bank account. Brock Lesnar almost brings the
house down as it’s the first time he’s been seen up to this point in a very
long while and his interactions with Vince are silently brilliant as Paul
Heyman is a scream with his off the mic comments as Lesnar drops the boss with
a thunderous F5. Thoroughly entertaining throughout.
C.M
Punk vs John Cena (Raw, February 25th 2013) is another brilliant match. John
Cena goes through the usual routine with maddening regularity but there’s
nothing here which is truly horrible. Wisely, C.M Punk slows down the match to
a pace Cena can contend with and thankfully it doesn’t hold up the match whilst
the submissions holds make sense padding out a logical match. Each reversal is
done with aplomb and the crowd rise to their feet as Punk reverses a move into
the Anaconda Vice. Though John Cena predictably sells nothing the match builds
to a heated confrontation with the best series of moves being a chain of
reversals which begins with John Cena reversing a Flying Clothesline attempt
into an STF, for Punk to reverse the STF into an Anaconda Vice only for John
Cena to reverse it into a crossface which the commentators call an STF. It’s a great
sequence of moves. John Cena hits a very good sit down Powerbomb without any
mistakes and there’s a killer near fall after a flying leg drop by Cena. This
could be a pay-per view main event for the drama which comes from it. Cena
nearly breaks his own neck on a hurricanrana attempt and Punk hits a thrilling
piledriver which is nice to see again in WWE.
The
Rock and John Cena Point-Counter Point (Raw, March 4th) begins with a comical
promo by The Rock, in which the crowd pop for all of his catchphrases. John
Cena is pleasantly competent on the microphone and manages to get through
ninety five percent of his speech and the angle without smirking, though it
does come into play from time to time. Passionate and serious, you feel that
losing to The Rock at WrestleMania 28 really did mean something to him, though
the segment descends into madness when Cena seems to blame Rock for his life
going into a tailspin both in front of and behind the camera. Surely Cena isn’t
that dumb he’d blame The Rock for his divorce? This is a thoroughly absorbing
confrontation, more so than almost any the pair had one year before, with the
pise de resistance being both men quoting famous lines to end. Cena quotes Mike
Tyson’s “To Be the Greatest Ever, You Have to Beat the Living” before being
trumped by The Rock quoting Lance Armstrong and then shot down when ‘The Great
One’ venomously spits, “He Was Full of Crap and So Are You!” Excellent. If only
all WWE stars were as good on the stick.
Alberto
Del Rio vs Jack Swagger (Raw, April 8th) is about on par with their
WrestleMania 29 clash; that is, nothing to brag about. Whilst it boasts a few
highlights such as Del Rio’s dive to the outside and a Cross Arm Breaker into a
Slam, but Alberto never really sells the injured leg and it’s clear where the
audience’s priorities lie when they begin to chant “We Want Ziggler!” This
could have been the greatest match in history but no one would have cared
because for them, it was rightly time for the next generation to take centre
stage. The match is saved by Dolph Ziggler cashing in his Money in the Bank
briefcase which gets one of the biggest reactions I’ve heard in years just
coming down the aisle. Though Del Rio fails to sell the injured leg which was
meant to prevent him from retaining the gold and Ziggler had to fight maybe
more than any other opportunist casher in to attain his title, it is a true
punch the air moment when Ziggler pins Del Rio to capture the gold. It almost
brings tears to your eyes and the reaction is deafening. It’s just such a shame
the company never persisted. They cannot treat Roman Reigns like this in 2014.
The
Undertaker and Team Hell No vs The Shield (Raw, April 22nd) is a rollicking
match which easily takes match of the night and match of the release honours.
Undertaker, in his first appearance on Raw in 3 years gets a God like welcome
back to the UK and rightly so. During the match, Undertaker still doesn’t look
like he’s lost his pace and talent, a fact furthered by the chants of ‘You’ve
still got it’ by the crowd. Let’s be honest, Undertaker never lost it. Daniel
Bryan is efficient, taking the brunt of the punishment from Reigns, Rollins and
an impressive Ambrose and the artist formerly know as Bryan Danielson pulls off
some sumptuous looking transfers with The Shield, including a great suicide
dive and a classy front dropkick from the top rope. The Shield are equally
impressive here. Seth Rollins takes a fine bump off of the ringside barrier
stemming from Bryan’s suicide dive and even though Roman Reigns is spared heavy
duty here, Dean Ambrose is a tour de force entering a superior performance. The
future is bright for these three indeed. The Shield victory is the right call
by WWE even if the ending to the match should have been more impactful. This
match should have been the main event of the show as it is high quality stuff
indeed.
Brock
Lesnar Invades WWE Headquarters (Raw, May 6th) is, more than anything, an
insightful look inside WWE’s base. The Andre the Giant statue is impressive but
in a low point, Paul Heyman disrespects verbally, before Heyman picks up the
angle and helps carry what would be a tiresome journey through the building
with his snipes at Triple H and the McMahon family. Brock Lesnar staring down
an oblivious worker in the elevator is amusing as is Paul Heyman whistling
Fandango’s theme tune. Security are suspicious by their absence, no one is
going to tell me that a billion dollar corporation doesn’t have the most
Neanderthal guards on the planet guarding its ever asset. The sledgehammer on
the wall of Triple H’s office is a ‘coincidence’ as Lesnar exudes badass
destroying the office which if you keep your eyes peeled, has a specially
constructed plasterboard wall which dents and breaks as Lesnar hurls objects
against it. It’s not a thriller, but entertaining enough for the look behind
the scenes.
Curtis
Axel vs Chris Jericho (Smackdown, June 7th) is a lively and consistent bout
which Curtis Axel looks nothing but perfect, to coin a phrase. Axel’s
Neckbreaker off of the ropes has a great tone to it; whilst his interactions
with Jericho are fluid and swift enough the match feels like a mid-card pay-per
view bout, or at least one of the better ones. For once, Chris Jericho does
well to sell and get Axel over as a star; this is where Jericho can do the most
good should he return in the near future. The high flying moves are crisp and
the final distraction of Punk’s music hitting may get the crowd on their feet
and provide long enough a distraction for Axel to roll Jericho up, but for full
effect he really should have won alone. Very impressive match which sadly Axel
couldn’t maintain when he took the Intercontinental Championships strap. Had he
been able to do so, then who knows where he would have been right now.
Mark
Henry’s Retirement Speech (Raw, June 17th) is a genuinely moving speech which
is so well crafted you don’t see the heel turn on John Cena at its conclusion.
Whilst its hard to believe that Mark Henry would concoct such a plan just to
get to John Cena when he could have marched to the ring after a match and
ruined him with a Falling Splash is somewhat a head scratching moment, but
overlooking that, you could be forgiven for believing that the man who has
accomplished very little in his years here is really ready to fly the nest. It
does take a while to get to the speech however as John Cena bangs on about his
2012 and somewhat telegraphs the turn stating that at Money in the Bank he will
know where his next challenge comes from, just before Henry makes his entrance,
but its only a minor gripe. As Henry stands in the ring soaking up the
heartfelt ‘Thank You Henry’ and ‘Sexual Chocolate’ chants, JBL absurdly states
that Mark Henry has accomplished a lot in his career when he clearly hasn’t. As
for the man himself, Mark Henry is the best he’s ever been. Crying, thanking
everyone, telling his children that daddy is coming home before picking up John
Cena and dropping him with a Falling Splash which the crowd go crazy for. It
just goes to show you, that no matter how bad you really are, when it comes to
the end you’ll be as respected as the very best will be. The funniest chant of
all is ‘You’ve Still Got It’ as Henry sobs in the ring. He never had it, but it
was nice of them to say so.
Randy
Orton vs Daniel Bryan (Raw, June 24th) is everything their main event pay-per
view matches struggled to be. Fun, energetic and flowing this is what the pair
should have strived to show us at Night of Champions, Battleground and Hell in
a Cell. Had they done so then maybe Daniel Bryan’s chase for the WWE Championship
would have still been in the main event today. Amongst the charge counters with
steel chair shot, counters and a particularly fine Powerbomb counter from the
apron through the table by Bryan, you’ll find it a task to spot a wasted move.
The kendo stick / kick sequence is particularly riveting as is the T-Bone
Suplex through a standing table by Orton puts everything on the line to make
Bryan his equal in image. Only one of two men to do that – the other was John
Cena. A Hurricanrana block into a Powerbomb is sumptuous but the real power of
this match comes from the different finish which sees a ‘Yes Lock’ countered
only to be applied with a kendo stick for the tap out. If anything can be used
as evidence that the WWE Championship is holding Randy Orton back then this
match is it. He was a better wrestler without the weight of expectation.
A.J
Lee and Kaitlyn Contract Signing (Smackdown, July 12th) is another entertaining
piece of verbal action as A.J taunts Kaitlyn with a great promo before
proceeding to read out fake texts about the other divas that Kaitlyn sent to
her secret admirer. Both women are perfect here and A.J takes pleasure in being
the naughty little minx, right up until Kaitlyn traps her in the corner with
the table and then belts Langston with a stiff slap which made my face hurt. If
you like slick promos and great back and forth verbal’s then this has something
for everyone. It’s quite amusing as well.
Randy
Orton vs Rob Van Dam (Smackdown, August 9th) is another thriller which begins
at a hell of a clip with some classic RVD moves. Van Dam missing the Flying
Crossbody over the top rope looks excellent as is Orton’s selling of RVD’s
offence. You’ll find nostalgia spots aplenty here, with RVD Double Leg Rolls,
Spinning Leg Drop from the apron and great height on a Split-Legged Moonsault.
Randy Orton’s backbreaker from the ropes looks flawless amongst the fast paced
action including a great Northern Lights Suplex which is more what we demand
than the usual boring match formula. There aren’t many matches which can put a
smile on your face, this is one of them.
Antonio
Cesaro vs Santino Marella (Raw, September 9th) is mostly brief and of no
consequence, but is kept entertaining by Cesaro and to a degree Santino. Every
slam, kick and move is done with such overselling that it becomes entertaining
to watch. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe a little Santino every now and again is a
good thing. The match does boast a great throw / pin combination to end the
bout. Like I said, brief but a welcome distraction from the heavy tone of
everything else.
Cody
Rhodes, Goldust and Daniel Bryan vs The Shield (Raw, October 7th) is a lively
six man tag team match, twenty four hours removed from Battleground. As they
were the night before, Cody Rhodes, Goldust and The Shield are brilliant and
Daniel Bryan leaves his mark on the match as well. Cody executes a thrilling
springboard dropkick and Goldust appears to have gotten better with age. Daniel
Bryan hits a sublime 180 degree German Suplex in a sequence which looks so
agile WWE need to be questioned on why they are wasting him. Illogically, even
though he’s been fired earlier in the Show, Big Show’s entrance music is queued
up so he can storm to the ring and knock Triple H out in a good looking segment
which also sees Big Show treat The Shield like jobbers.
Cody
Rhodes and Goldust vs Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns (Raw, October 14th) is a
thrilling tag team match which stars at a snails pace but builds into something
unforgettable. Roman Reigns brings out his rest holds to maddening effect but
when the match catches fire, it’s one everyone should see. Cody Rhodes is
mightily impressive in the final third whilst there’s a beautiful reversal of
the Disaster Kick from the ring steps which is transferred into a Powerbomb into
the barricade to maximum effect. The ‘This is Awesome’ chants are thoroughly
deserved. Too much happens to describe here but sadly the WWE Tag Team
Championship victory is hyped to be more down to Big Show interfering rather
than the solid work of the Rhodes brothers.
John
Cena, Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs The Real Americans and Damien Sandow
(Smackdown, November 1st) isn’t as thrilling as it would have been had it been
a tag team match between The Rhodes Brothers and The Real Americans but it is
still notable for some good action which harks back to the days of 1980’s six
man tag team warfare. The worst thing about the bout is that it comes after
Damien Sandown’s failed cash in attempt and it’s plain to see that no one cares
about the character anymore. He had limited appeal when he had something about
him, namely the briefcase, stripped of that combined with the burial he
received after he won the briefcase; there was never any chance of scraping any
decency back in the ring. The damage had been done. Goldust is once again a
highlight, if there was an award for most improved wrestler then surely it
would go to him. Dustin’s Bulldog using Damien Sandow as a springboard is
excellent. There are huge swathes of time when the bout goes nowhere but
luckily for the flow, it only emphasises the excitement when it comes along.
Building well, John Cena is wisely kept to a minimum as to negate the negative
effect on others careers; he is competent when his time comes. Antonio Cesaro
is crisp and professional, handling John Cena very well and the slow decline
back to the golden days of wrestling with blind tags which aren’t noticed by
the referee and cutting the ring in half are a welcome distraction. John Cena
nails a beautiful spear on Jack Swagger outside the ring and his yelps of ‘tag’
to Cody Rhodes every time he comes Cena’s way in the Cesaro Swing are funny.
Cesaro’s counter of the Attitude Adjustment into a Gutwrench is sublime as is
the Uppercut which Cena gets great height on. There’s a nice sequence to end
the affray but Cena finishes Swagger off too quickly without any real rhyme or
reason.
C.M
Punk and Daniel Bryan vs The Shield (Raw, November 11th) in a two on one
handicap match begins slow but gradually picks up the pace when Daniel Bryan
enters. C.M Punk’s part in the match makes him feel like he’s on pause. Bryan
hits a lovely German Suplex on Rollins, but the fans are visibly jaded by the
time the main event rolls around – they have been sitting there for nearly
three hours as WWE taped Superstars before Raw – and it’s high time the show
wrapped up. There is hardly any enthusiasm left. That however is remedied when
The Wyatt Family enter the fray and brawl with The Shield before all six men
chase Daniel Bryan and C.M Punk around the ring before Punk and Bryan get the better
of them to the audience’s approval. It’s not a classic but the final five
minutes are very good.
Josh
Matthews is a more than able host. Straying away form feeding us facts we
neither need to know nor care about, Josh gives us the basics and allows us to
see what happened for ourselves. WWE should employ Josh to host every release.
He’s a steady hand to steer the ships and it’d be a better gig than the one he
currently has in the company.
From
‘Best Pay-Per View Matches 2013’:
C.M
Punk vs The Rock (Royal Rumble, January 27th 2013) for the WWE Championship is
a hit and miss affair. One of the most notable moments during the video package
is how much the Rock did to get The Shield over in the build up to the Royal
Rumble. Rock did a fine sell job for the trio and had he done the same for Miz
and R-Truth before their Survivor Series 2011 match against the Rock and John
Cena, maybe we could have suspended disbelief as to which team was going to
come out victorious; The Rock’s pre-match promo is both electrifying and wholly
wonderful. The Rock exudes more passion here than anyone in the Royal Rumble
match managed to muster and the promo is the most passionate in WWE in more
than a year. WWE could use this as lesson for its development wrestlers in how
to hype the crowd before a big match; C.M Punk enters first which is unusual
for a Champion. This should have told the onlookers that entering the ring
last, cutting such a fine promo, having his mother there who has cancer and
having his face solely on the Royal Rumble poster – this was undeniably the
Rock’s night; JBL is a hundred percent on the money when he says that C.M Punk
has to be considered one of the best in WWE history. Without Punk WWE would
have been in massive trouble during the whole of the 2012 period and the Royal
Rumble pay per view would not have drawn as many buy rates as it did. The Rock
vs a champion who has only had the gold for a month isn’t as emotional as
watching him dethrone a man who has been on top of WWE’s mountain for 434 days;
thankfully, from the beginning to the end, the match had that big fight feel
that many WWE Championship matches lacked in the year previous. I’ll go as far
to say that Rock vs Punk had more of a big fight feel than Cena vs Rock at
WrestleMania 28. This big fight feel would have served the pair well had WWE
booked this match and the title change for WrestleMania 29; Punk exudes zeal
getting in the Rock’s face right from the very beginning and does a great job
in not looking like he’s afraid of the Rock. Sadly that image doesn’t last as
having Paul Heyman at ringside and getting involved in the action all adds to
the image WWE were trying to give us that Punk can’t beat the Rock without
outside help; noticeably the Rock has lost a lot of muscle mass since his WrestleMania
28 clash with John Cena, but is still carrying enough that it considerably
slows him down several times during the match and it is noticeable. Listen
carefully and you can audibly hear the Rock panting and breathing heavily. This
is down to the lack of ring time the Rock has had over the past few months. Had
WWE been quicker on the up take then they would have hired the Rock back
several weeks early and had him go through a rigorous wrestling routine to get
him ring ready, including having him fight in tag team matches on Raw and
Smackdown. As it is, the Rock really does look tired halfway through the match;
the rest holds come out pretty early in order to give the Rock time to catch
his breath. They don’t detract from the match any as Punk does a fine job of
integrating them into his routine, much more smoothly than Cena managed to
against the Rock at WrestleMania 28; Michael Cole has to be given rare credit
for reminding the audience of the Rock’s past in WWE and his history at the
Royal Rumble. This was so that the dolts who think the Rock is merely a
Hollywood star in a business he doesn’t know anything about are put right;
there is a slow and sloppy beginning to the match but as the Rock begins to get
back into his old routine and paces himself, the action picks up considerably;
there are some really good counters and the Rock’s sharpshooter looks crisp and
properly executed. Considering Bret Hart was present backstage and watching the
match, the Rock had no choice but to synch it correctly. Punk sold the move as
it was designed to be sold, with pain and real terror that this could be the
end of his wonderful run as Champion; the moment when the table collapses
beneath the Rock and Punk before ‘The Great One’ can hit the Rock Bottom ruins
the spot but quick thinking by the Rock and Punk saves the angle from being a
complete write off and they complete the spot on the floor with a solid Rock
Bottom; when the lights go out and the Shield drop the Rock through the second
announcers table is the moment you begin to believe that Punk will actually
retain the WWE Championship. There is a mixed reaction when Punk pins the Rock
for what seems like the victory but unmistakably, Vince McMahon strutting into
the arena to announce he’s going to strip Punk of the WWE Championship for
outside interference is met with ecstasy from most of the capacity crowd. WWE
could have been clever here and allowed the match to end as it did with Punk
pinning the Rock in the middle of the ring and then booked the rematch for the
headline spot of WrestleMania 29; the Rock plays the valiant, never
surrendering challenger and hero to perfection, when he grabs the microphone
and tells Vince McMahon that he doesn’t take the WWE Championship from Punk,
the Rock does. A role he’s had so much practice at still comes off as a punch
the air moment; admittedly there should have been more back and forth action
after the restart of the match, had the Rock and Punk traded close and nail
biting near falls for five more minutes before the Rock hit Punk with a
devastating Rock Bottom from the middle rope it would have been a more than
fitting end to Punk’s conquest that was his 434 day WWE Championship reign.
Sadly it doesn’t. The candle of Punk’s reign is extinguished with a People’s
Elbow. Even though it is a great feat for Punk to have lasted this long in the
political WWE as Champion, his title reign should have ended with a bang;
through all of this, it is good to see the Rock with the WWE Championship
again. The match isn’t the greatest of either man’s career; they’ve both had
and done better than this. But it’s not as bad John Cena vs the Rock at
WrestleMania 28 and for that we can be truly thankful. Both men deserve a huge
pat on the back for their efforts here and even though it becomes blindly clear
that it’s not the same Rock that left WWE in 2002 and 2003, and we never
expected it to be, this match is well worth the watch for both the end of a
historic Championship reign and the beginning of the final end for the Rock.
John
Cena, Ryback and Sheamus vs The Shield (Elimination Chamber, February 17th
2013) is surprisingly capable considering that Cena and Ryback make up two
thirds of The Shield’s opposition. Even Cena and Ryback’s best efforts to ruin
The Shield’s image with their no selling the effects of The Shield’s moves
cannot ruin the match. There’s a good looking triple suplex at the beginning of
the match performed by Cena, Sheamus and Ryback, Roman Reigns looks like a true
star and his spear on Sheamus through the barricade is very good indeed. Just a
point here though; WWE are stripping all the realism of what The Shield are
meant to be away from the trio by giving them entrance music which a renegade
faction invading the company wouldn’t have and the camera trained on the trio,
knowing exactly where they are going to enter from in the crowd should have
been shaky and not kicked in until two thirds of the way through The Shield’s
entrance to make it look like the cameraman didn’t know where they were coming
from. All in all though it’s a good effort by the Shield and surely they’re
bound for WWE’s main event scene. Looking back at the match now though, it’s
clear the seeds for Ryback’s heel turn were sewn here; amusingly WWE shoot
themselves in the foot with the pre-match video package. Showing The Shield run
down John Cena saying; “John Cena, in your world there are no consequences! You
can do or say what you want!” The comment is both spot on and shows how easy
Cena has it in WWE.
C.M
Punk vs The Undertaker (WrestleMania 29, April 7th 2013) is a spectacle all on
its own. Despite the disgusting build up revolving around the death of Paul
Bearer – an angle which all involved should have refused to take part it – the
match on the night is purely excellent. Living Colour singing C.M Punk to the
ring with ‘Cult of Personality’ is a stirring moment in WrestleMania history
and is topped only by The Undertaker’s ‘Walking Dead’ homage during his
entrance where shadows of hands, supposedly the souls of those he’d claimed, grasped at ‘The Demon of Death Valley’ as he
appears atop the stage. To cap off Undertaker’s entrance, WWE even furnished
him with his old nameplate being the design which bared his name on old posters
in the 90’s. Through the whole match, Punk played his part to perfection and I
will challenge anyone to spot any flaws with his perfectly pitched performance.
Because most of the build up revolved around Paul Bearer’s passing the
encounter, from beginning to end is an emotional affair which the crowd are
divided down the middle between the pair. Speaking of the capacity crowd, they
have to receive a huge round of applause for their part in the outing. They
never failed to impress and stayed with the match every step of the way. As for
the action, it surprised me that after a year away from the ring Undertaker can
still move like he did in 1996 which serves the back and forth pacing of the
match to perfection. Punk’s Shane McMahon inspired flying elbow to the
unbreakable announcers table is thrilling and Paul Heyman, in Punk’s corner, is
never less than magnificent. People talk about the legend that is Bobby ‘The
Brain’ Heenan being the greatest wrestling manager there ever was and he just
may be. Paul Heyman comes in a very close second. In an age when Undertaker’s
WrestleMania streak is never in jeopardy despite how hard WWE try to hype that
it is, that both men made it look like Punk could end the Streak goes to show
how great both are. Make no mistake about it; Undertaker really did look in
trouble at certain points. If anyone was going to do it then it would have been
C.M Punk. The counters are fine pieces of wrestling psychology. The highlight
of the match though isn’t the superior sequence which leads to Undertaker
putting Punk away with the Tombstone Piledriver, but the moment when C.M Punk
had Undertaker locked in the Anaconda Vice seemingly seconds away from the
greatest feat in modern history and The Undertaker simply sits up with the most
hilarious annoyed look on his face and stares Punk out. Both Undertaker and
Punk’s reactions are a moment which will stand still in WrestleMania’s
chronicle. C.M Punk kicking out of the tombstone almost brought the house down
and added weight to the thought that maybe people do want to see Undertaker’s
streak end. As the match drew to a close, the urn shot to Undertaker is timed
very well in order to illicit maximum heat for Punk and the end sequence of
events which lead to the final, damning tombstone piledriver is a joy to watch.
The Undertaker reclaiming Paul Bearer’s urn after the match is a stand up
moment and his salute to the urn and the man who walked him to the ring for
countless years is richly deserved. The man born Mark Calloway would not have
been a star without William ‘Paul Bearer’ Moody by his side. He owes him a huge
debt of gratitude. The Undertaker vs C.M Punk isn’t as good as Undertaker vs
Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania 25 and 26) or Undertaker vs Triple H (WrestleMania
27 and 28) but it is a thrilling ride all the same. I suddenly realised why WWE
went down the path it had with Paul Bearer’s passing in the lead up. Triple H
and Shawn Michaels both had too much respect to end Undertaker’s twenty one
year unbeaten streak at WrestleMania in previous years. The thinking in the
office of Titan Towers was that if they could portray Punk as someone who had
no respect for Undertaker or those who had passed maybe we would believe Punk
would be the man to end it all. Whilst no one agrees with the way WWE went
about Bearer’s death, Vince McMahon very nearly accomplished what he set out to
achieve.
The
Rock vs John Cena (WrestleMania 29, April 7th 2013) for WWE Championship is a
surprise package at WrestleMania 29. Whilst the match wasn’t the main event
calibre showdown it should have been, it was a huge improvement on the year
before’s marathon of rest holds and Cena smirks – which thankfully Cena locked
away for the night. Despite what some fans say this is a worthy entry. At the
beginning of this match John Cena shows his unlimited heel potential as he
begins to bait the crowd without shame about throwing his cap back at him.
Speaking of entrances, it regressed your Wrestling God back 12 years or more to
see The Rock enter WrestleMania as WWE Champion and hold the Championship aloft
on the middle rope on the grandest stage of them all. What a feeling it is for
members of ‘Team Bring It’. For those who love the Rock as I do then savour the
moment, because something tells me we won’t be seeing it ever again. The
audience are on form once again after their lull in the Triple H vs Brock
Lesnar bout which they were as good as nonexistent. The reaction both the Rock
and John Cena received throughout this match is the reaction which Triple H and
Brock Lesnar hoped they would get for their brawl. There is a laughable moment
when JBL on commentary suggest that John Cena in 2013 is better than he was in
2004 and last year. Let’s just call it WWE’s way of trying to cheer us up and
lighten the mood which had become overtly serious by this point. Before we
delve into the match itself, something which irked your Wrestling God a great
deal was that JBL, under orders from Vince McMahon in his earpiece, continued
to state – as did the promos earlier in the show – that a place in history was
a stake for the winner of the match. It was a ridiculous comment because The
Rock and John Cena have both cemented their place in wrestling history, one
more than the other, and a loss or win for either would not have damaged the
others reputation or standing in the company when we come to look back on this
in 20 years time. After this little outburst JBL then states that if the Rock
defeats John Cena then he may be considered the best of the modern era.
Seriously? If he beats John Cena? Let’s just clear something up. The Rock will
always be remembered as one of the greatest wrestlers and performers in
wrestling history let alone the modern era – regardless of the fact that the
night was only ever going to end with John Cena crowned new WWE Champion. And
now we can move on: inside the ring, the action is more solid and flowing than
last year’s forgettable effort. The rest holds are kept to a minimum and thanks
to the fact that the Rock fought at Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber, he
came into WrestleMania 29 ring ready and didn’t need to take half as many
breaks as last year in order to get his breath back. As usual, John Cena’s
shortcomings are on display when he fails to sell Rock’s sharpshooter with any
conviction, instead opting to look like he’s taking a rather difficult dump and
the leader of the ‘Cenation’s’ counter to a Rock Bottom is as comical as the
STF submission he applies to the Rock. Kevin Dunn in the production truck needs
lessons on how to build tension in a match because as Cena had the Rock trapped
in the STF – despite his hands, as usual, being so far away from Rock’s throat
‘The Great One’ could have put a jumper on in the space between his throat and
Cena’s arms – Dunn ordered the camera to cut away from the action and hit a
wide shot of the ring and arena in which neither man could be seen for at least
five seconds. Maybe Kevin has been taking lessons from TNA. It totally ruins a
moment which could have been a turning point regarding the tension of the
match. To his credit, John Cena does take each Rock Bottom with ease and much
more comfortably on the eye than he did last year which allowed fans to
emotionally invest in this years bout. As we sauntered to the end of the bout,
JBL struck again on commentary when he suggested that John Cena needed to find
something new to do to defeat the Rock. John Cena do something new? Now he’s
dreaming. Cena hasn’t changed his ring style in 10 years. Once again, to his
credit, John Cena looks wholly serious as the match winds towards its sudden
conclusion. There isn’t a sly smile or smirk in sight and Cena actually looks like
a man who has been seriously damaged by his loss to the Rock the previous year.
Hoisting Rock up for the Attitude Adjustment, John Cena looked like he was
ready to turn heel any moment – if he can wrestle with this level of
seriousness from now on then maybe people wouldn’t be so hard on him. At least
here he conveyed how much a victory over The Rock would mean. Thankfully, John
Cena’s execution of last years ending is pulled off with aplomb as is Cena’s
Rock Bottom on the Rock which brings about a massive reaction from the crowd
who at this point are on their feet and can smell and ending approaching.
Unlike his usual tatty execution, John Cena nailed the Rock Bottom to
perfection and was impressive. The match boasts some nail biting near falls and
when John Cena stands above the Rock ready to hit Rock’s People’s Elbow the
look in his eye and the one approved smirk had ‘heel’ written all over it. Why
can’t WWE see this? Thankfully the second match in what is almost bound to be
the Rock vs John Cena trilogy is shorter than last years marathon. Yes, the
ending does come out of nowhere but it doesn’t detract from a satisfying
encounter even though for the John Cena character, the best ending would have
been to drill the Rock with the WWE Championship and turn heel. Instead we get
a touching embrace between the pair which is less than welcomed inside the
MetLife Stadium but John Cena does show a tremendous amount of respect to the
Rock by leaving the ring, even though he was the winner, and allowing the Rock
to take his standing ovation which the audience give him without question.
Unlike Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania 6, John Cena made the conscious decision on
this night to respect his opponent and not take the spotlight. This should be
an action which is applauded by Rock fans and Cena haters alike. It shows
progress for John Cena and just maybe there is hope for him yet. As the Rock
makes his way up the ramp John Cena is waiting with a very respectful and
somewhat touching salute and the pair share a hand in hand arm raise as the
show goes off the air. People can see this match any way they want; in reality
it was a huge passing of the torch moment. The Rock, whilst he will be back at
WrestleMania 30 possibly for his final ever match, has finally stepped down from
the main event scene with dignity and respect. No one can say the Rock didn’t
pass the torch when his time came and in classy fashion. At WrestleMania 29,
the Rock stepped down in the right way.
Randy
Orton vs Big Show (Extreme Rules, May 19th 2013) in an Extreme Rules Match is a
wonderfully pleasing anything goes brawl which makes sure the fans in Orton’s
home town go home with a smile on their faces. Randy receives a much deserved
ovation on his homecoming and his interaction with the crowd throughout the
match is enjoyable to watch. For a long time it seemed as if Randy Orton didn’t
enjoy his job but finally he looks to be having a whale of a time. Whilst hopes
weren’t high for this match thanks to Big Show’s performances taking a down
turn in recent months, everyone was pleasantly surprised as the pair put
together a good and logical fight. Big Show bumps brilliantly, as if he was
200lbs lighter and is surprisingly agile for a man of his size. Big Show’s
Vader Bomb through a waiting ladder looks like it really hurt and Orton’s
draping DDT over the top rope gets the fans on their feet. It’s a move Big Show
takes well considering he has further to fall than if the move was executed
from the middle rope as it usually is. Orton’s first RKO garners a killer near
fall, whilst the punt makes a welcome return to action when Orton gets some
impressive shoe leather around Big Show’s cranium in the crowd pleasing finale.
Naturally, Randy Orton’s victory gets the biggest reaction of the night.
Triple
H vs Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules, May 19th 2013) in a stunningly brilliant
Steel Cage Match. Just a small point though, before we take a look at why the
match was so good. Before the match begins, WWE show us a video package of
Brock Lesnar’s rampage on Triple H’s office in WWE’s Titan Towers headquarters.
Whilst the angle was meant to provide heat for this match, it was an illogical
story for anyone to pen. Lesnar simply wanders into the company’s offices and
trashes Hunter’s office, threatening staff as he goes. Do WWE really expect us
to believe that a Billion Dollar company doesn’t have one security guard on the
door, or that those who were verbally and physically threatened by Lesnar
wouldn’t press charges against Heyman’s main man for his conduct? What’s more,
do WWE believe we’re that stupid that we wouldn’t realise that had Lesnar done
this for real, WWE would have had no choice but to suspend and fine him,
possibly taking legal action? Now that’s said, let’s move onto the matter in
the hand. The match gets off to flying start as Triple H attacks Lesnar on the
aisle, pounding him against the outside of the brand new steel cage design
which fits the modern day WWE perfectly. The beginning of the match is speedy
adding the sense of urgency perfectly. WWE wanted us to believe this was life
or death for both men and thanks to the action and more importantly selling of
both men, there’s not one moment you don’t buy into the story they’re telling.
On the whole, this is much better than their WrestleMania 29 clash and tops even
their SummerSlam 2012 brawl. Triple H sells like a trooper for Lesnar who looks
like the hurting machine that he should always portray and even Triple H’s
comebacks, even though spirited, have a sense of doom about them. From the
outset here you get the feeling that Triple H is always fighting a loosing
battle. The feeling makes this match more exciting than one could ever have
imagined. The real star of the match though is Brock Lesnar. The selling of the
injured knee is as flawless a performance as you will ever see in WWE. Lesnar
sells his injured limb like it’s the end of his career and even more
refreshing, Triple H actually works the injury. I know it’s not a huge turn
around, but in a company where its stars don’t sell injuries like they should and
their opponents don’t exploit those injures, it does fell like a whole new
concept when we get to this. The first F5 results in a brilliant near fall as
does a thunderous pedigree which has the attending audience standing. Triple
H’s sharpshooter on Lesnar will probably get Bret Hart’s ire up and Paul Heyman
at ringside, slowly interjecting himself into the match is once again, nothing
short of a marvel. The end sequence involving all three men is executed well
and Paul Heyman’s role as the dastardly manager takes him up another level as
he first takes a pedigree as well as any WWE Superstar and then delivers the
final, crushing low blow allowing Brock Lesnar to take control for the last
time. As Lesnar stands over Triple H’s fallen body, everything seems to slow to
a near crawl which is just perfect for this match. The finale is hauntingly
slow, wonderfully deliberate and cringingly hard hitting as Lesnar drops Triple
H with the deciding F5. That Triple H is willing to Brock Lesnar over here and
then Curtis Axel the follow night on Raw proves that the once ‘Cerebral
Assassin’ has the company’s best interests at heart. When Triple H leaves the
ring at the end, he looks a beaten man. Though the commentators try to pin the
victory on Heyman’s interjection anyone with eyes can see that Brock Lesnar
deserved this victory and much more for his part in the match. He was truly
excellent.
Wade
Barrett vs Curtis Axel vs The Miz (Payback, June 16th 2013) in a triple threat
match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship couldn’t have been written
better had WWE tried. Whilst trying to convince us that this is Curtis Axel’s
destiny, winning the Intercontinental Championship his father, Mr. Perfect, had
held so triumphantly years before on fathers day, it comes as a shame that the
commentators couldn’t keep up the hype. Instead of really pushing Axel, WWE
seemed to want to inform us that Axel was only in the match because Fandango
had been injured on Smackdown and not because he’s a good wrestler. Axel gets a
good reception on his entrance and the match begins fast which gets the fans
excited for an encounter in which they never dip. Wade Barrett looks convincing
as the defending champion, had he put this much effort into all his matches
then he may be higher up the card by now, levelling Miz and Axel with several
big moves stating his authority. Whilst Miz is in serious danger of being known
as a main roster enhancement talent, he does have some stand out moments in
this match, most notably taking on Axel and Barrett on his own and for the most
part coming out smelling of roses. Miz portrays someone who has heart and
someone who should be at a much higher level. Curtis Axel is dominant but slow.
When its just Axel and Miz in the ring the action screeches to a halt, though Axel’s
offence looks timed and thought out. He needs to speed up his ring work unless
he wants to be seen as Michael McGillicutty with a new attitude. The trio
exchange an excellent series of moves which leads into the ‘Winds of Change’
for Barrett and when Axel uses his father’s ‘Perfect Plex’ to score a brilliant
near fall it nearly brings the house down. After the ‘Perfect Plex’ spot, the
match flies. Every near fall is tense and The Miz’s reversal of ‘Wings of
Change’ into the Figure Four Leg Lock couldn’t have gone smoother. The ending
in which Axel pins Barrett whilst he’s in the Figure Four is a great ending and
one which preserves The Miz’s image as he was so close to taking the gold. The
commentators bleat on about Axel being Henning’s son and don’t let him bask in
the spotlight on his merit but that is a minor gripe. It’s quite eerie how much
Axel looks like his father.
Kaitlyn
vs A.J Lee (Payback, June 16th 2013) for the WWE Divas Championship is the best
Divas match in many years. From beginning to end it has more attitude than most
of the male’s matches on the card and is a standout achievement for WWE and
both of the women involved. From the feisty beginning in which Kaitlyn hurls
A.J over the announcers table which gives us a different indication of how much
better this is going to be compared to previous Divas matches, to A.J’s
perfectly psychotic performance, both women shine at Payback. Every move is
solid and the crowd are fully immersed in the action thanks to a more than
average storyline giving this meaning for once. A.J’s wrap around sleeper hold
is honed to perfection and even though the size difference is visible and
Kaitlyn looks like she could snap A.J in half, the psychotic diva holds her
own. Kaitlyn shows off her power with a wonderful reversal of a crucifix pin
into a standing gut drop. Continuing the reversals, A.J turns the tide of a
swinging sidewalk slam into the ‘Black Widow’ submission hold which looks like
something of someone beyond her years. Every near fall the pair trade gets the
crowd hot and rightly so as you believe that either woman could win the match.
At last, Kaitlyn convinces with her acting and her tears seem genuine, making
you really feel for her, whilst the chants of ‘You tapped out’ by the fans to
Kaitlyn are disrespectful after the show she’s just contributed to. Overall
this match is almost flawless and the best since Trish Stratus vs Lita at
Unforgiven 2006. This was the best match of the pay-per view.
Dolph
Ziggler vs Alberto Del Rio (Payback, June 16th 2013) for the World Heavyweight
Championship is an expertly handled mach in the way it turns Alberto Del Rio
heel and Dolph Ziggler face. Reminiscent of Bret Hart vs Stone Cold Steve
Austin at WrestleMania 13, WWE have every right to be proud of themselves here.
Returning from a concussion which put him out of action for 5 weeks, Dolph
Ziggler gets a thunderous reception which sets the tone of the match in which
most of the audience are on his side. This is because he’s the first wrestler
in quite a few years to come from the bottom to the top. WWE need to take note
of the reaction here. Del Rio’s heel turn is a slow burner as he works over
Dolph Ziggler’s head in moments which are uncomfortable to watch seeing as
Ziggler’s concussion was real and not fabricated. As the work on the head gets
more and more vicious the fans begin to turn on Del Rio for his brutality and
cheer Ziggler, who puts up a hell of a fight. Dolph sells the head like Shawn
Michaels in his prime and whilst a lot of the action is slow and calculated,
again focussed on Ziggler’s head; it is kept intriguing by Del Rio’s heel turn
and Ziggler’s determination to never give up. Undoubtedly, Dolph Ziggler is the
star of this match with his never say die attitude which you don’t expect from
a heel and he comes across as the valiant champion. The match has its quick
succession of reversals in which Ziggler botches a fame-asser. Gladly it
doesn’t ruin the match as the botched move looks like a result of Ziggler’s
injury. Dolph Ziggler makes his star on this night. The harsh kick to Ziggler’s
head to end the match in what is a valiant and gritty ending, seals Del Rio’s
heel turn though he does get a huge ovation when he pins Ziggler, who gets a
well earned ovation from the crowd and rampant chants of his name. WWE has to
send Del Rio back out for post match promo to get his heel character over with
those who didn’t get it first time around.
Dean
Ambrose vs Fandango vs Antonio Cesaro vs Jack Swagger vs Cody Rhodes vs Damien
Sandow vs Wade Barrett in the Smackdown Money in the Bank Ladder Match (Money
in the Bank, July 14th 2013) is quite superb. Sadly thanks to time constraints,
Dean Ambrose and Fandango don’t get an entrance and are simply already in the
ring when the pay-per view begins – an oversight by WWE to treat their United
States Champion that way – though Ambrose gets a rousing reception when he’s
announced. Zeb Coulter does his usual Anti-Foreigner spiel which is beyond old
now and the irony of managing Antonio Cesaro – who hails from Switzerland –
whilst preaching about non Americans in the country is seemingly lost on WWE
and Coulter. As for the excellent brawl; Antonio Cesaro gets his fair share of
the spotlight with a sublime ‘Gut-wrench Powerbomb’ on Cody Rhodes onto the
ladder and an exceptional mid-air ‘European Uppercut’ on Wade Barrett as he
falls from the ladder. Fandango is barely relevant in this match and apart from
a few spots on the ladder where he’s visible reaching for the briefcase and the
odd back and forth piece of action with the ladder, his biggest contribution is
an accomplished ‘Slingshot Leg Drop’ onto the ladder and Wade Barrett and an
excellent sunset flip on Wade Barrett from the top of the ladder. Speaking of
the United States Champions, Ambrose is once again one of the stars of the
match and is all over like this like a rash – in the best possible sense. The
third wheel of The Shield executes an outstanding DDT on Jack Swagger off of
the ladder; is the recipient of an
impressive ‘Hangman’ with the ladder which he ably slips out of and gets a
round of applause when he takes a death defying fall from the top of the ladder
into the waiting wrestler brawl outside. Jack Swagger and Damien Sandow are
kept to a minimum in this match which is baffling and Wade Barrett is the recipient
of a huge amount of punishment. Including what has already been mentioned,
Barrett gets a nasty ladder shot to the head as he’s laying on the outside,
though he does display some much needed aggression when he beats Sandow with a
broken part of the ladder. WWE do very well to take the attention off those
selling moves at ringside for longer than they should and keep the camera
focused on those in the moment. Each interception of the briefcase is timed to
perfection and the ladder is used well and not excessively. However, the stand
out star of this match is Cody Rhodes. His aggression and talent comes to the
front line at Money in the Bank and it’s clear that this Cody Rhodes is one who
belongs in the main event. I have never been more impressed with him and WWE
should push him hard when he returns – as he inevitably will – from his
storyline sacking. Just some of his highlights involve breaking up the Swagger
/ Cesaro human ladder attempt and taking each participant out on his own in a
fluid sequence of moves much to the audience’s approval. Rhodes bleeds hardway
when he’s caught by a ladder shot to the head which the camera try their best
to cover up, and the audience, though they give smatterings of applause for
Damien Sandown’s victory are more annoyed than pleased. The truth is, Damien
Sandow isn’t ready for this spot and WWE are to blame. His treatment before and
since the victory has been appalling. Cody Rhodes was the star of this show and
he should have been given that final push.
C.M
Punk vs Brock Lesnar (SummerSlam, August 18th 2013) is a stunning bout which is
by far WWE’s best match of the year so far, surpassing C.M Punk vs The
Undertaker (WrestleMania 29) and Triple H vs Brock Lesnar (Extreme Rules 2013).
This match, unlike most this year has that big match atmosphere and big fight
feel before it even begins, even more so than Daniel Bryan vs John Cena. The
beginning of the match is hard hitting and totally gripping, the fact that it
never lets the audience go and wrings every last drop of emotion out of the
watching crowd is a credit to both men. Brock Lesnar plays the part of the
monster to perfection, showcasing his sheer power over Punk, by throwing ‘The
Second City Saviour’ around ringside including an impressive haul over the
announce table which Punk almost clears without touching. When Punk finally
gains control, Lesnar once again asserts his dominance with a great looking
shoulder block into the steps and Punk. Punk’s flying clothesline off of the
announce desk is very fine and everything Brock Lesnar does, gets a reaction
from the partisan Punk crowd. What the brawl generates into is a tense and very
believable fight, which Lesnar dominates not just with hardcore strikes but
also some distinguished belly to belly suplex’s – which on the outside of the
ring look immense. I fear that C.M Punk’s selling is getting worse as he almost
leaps up from the belly to belly to pepper Lesnar with kicks and the final F5
isn’t sold for nearly long enough – but we’re getting ahead of ourselves. From
what has been described so far, you may think this is just a hardcore brawl but
you’d be wrong. After the weapons and aggression have taken their toll, to
their credit, Punk and Lesnar turn the match into a high stakes technical brawl
before the final flurry of hardcore action, boasting reversals galore. Lesnar
reverses a running knee into an F5 attempt in a great looking exchange and a
GTS attempt into a seamless Kimura Lock which brings a wholly gripping
submission endeavour. Punk reverses the Kimura Lock into a Triangle Choke hold
or Hell’s Gate if you’re an Undertaker fan, which brings Brock Lesnar’s selling
powers into play as he teases a tap out in one of the best moments of the
entire match. By this time the “This is Awesome” chants the crowd are bestowing
on the pair are richly deserved. At ringside, Paul Heyman is the marvel he
usually is and when he interjects himself in the match it adds another layer of
emotional depth to the affray. Lesnar and Punk sell amicably for each other and
the nail-biting near falls towards the end are simply sublime. The last five
minutes of the match are completely faultless, as Punk reverses an F5 into a
DDT in the best move of the match – and it has a lot of competition – and
Lesnar’s sickening chair shots in the vein of Austin on The Rock at
WrestleMania 17 are a wonderful star builder as they basically tell the
audience that Lesnar could only beat Punk by battering him into a
semi-unconscious state. A first class match which has to be match of the year.
Punk and Lesnar do more for each other here than anyone has done for them in a
very long time.
John
Cena vs Daniel Bryan (SummerSlam, August 18th 2013) is a wonderful surprise for
the WWE Championship Match. Just a short note before we get into the match. I
credit John Cena here for putting on a hell of a show. His selling and
wrestling skills still are iffy but for once, it doesn’t matter. John Cena
knows this is the beginning of something huge for Daniel Bryan and he acts and
wrestles accordingly. For that, John Cena deserves all the credit in the world.
It’s clear by the end of the match that John Cena can do it when he wants to
and this is the Cena we want to see more of in the ring. The leader of the
Cenation hits a lovely and striking bridge hop which is only usually done by
luchadores and his suplex off of the steel steps is top class all the way. The
“You still suck chants” afterwards are very funny. On top of that, Cena nails
Bryan with an accomplished sit down Powerbomb which is faultless. There are no
childish smirks here, it’s all business. Though not all of Cena’s offence is
good, the big moves which matter are done to perfection. Daniel Bryan – the WWE
Champion elect just goes and goes and goes without any sign of tiring. This is
a man WWE want to keep on top; his main event output is simply unmatched. Bryan
is technically brilliant here and you won’t find anything out of place or
executed wrong. Reversing an Attitude Adjustment into a Yes Lock is brilliantly
done and if wrestling moves were chocolate; his spider suplex from the top rope
would melt in the mouth. As both men sell the others offence which is
believable, Cena counters a suicide dive with a shoulder block from the floor
to the apron in another good move and nails his flying leg drop on target. The
only slip Cena has in the match is when he nearly breaks Daniel Bryan’s neck
countering a hurricanrana. When Cena has him held upside down he drops to his
feet from the top and Bryan lands on his head in a cringe worthy moment. This
match is everything it should have been and both men deserve every praise. Cena
fans can be proud of this one. The ending, portraying Cena as the never say die
Champion and Bryan as the determined challenger who had worked his whole life
for this one night is perfectly gotten over. Neither will quit and the audience
recognise that this is something special. The final running knee which finishes
off Cena is perfectly timed and sold by the Champion and the ending is a good
old fashioned, clean finish which furthers Bryan’s career. Yes, you heard it
here first. John Cena actually helped make someone. The handshake at the end of
the match is a nice touch and Randy Orton’s last minute crashing of the party
gets a massive reaction as it looks like the show will end on Daniel Bryan’s
victory. Triple H’s heel turn on Bryan is superbly done and Orton’s WWE
Championship victory garners another approval from the crowd. Excellent.
Cody
Rhodes and Goldust vs Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns (Battleground, October 6th
2013) in the match to restore The Rhodes Family to WWE’s roster, is a great tag
team encounter in which, for once, everyone on display makes the most of their
allocated time. Thankfully, realising The Shield were going to come out on the
losing end, the commentators were informed to make sure the audience knew The
Shield were responsible for The Undertaker’s absence, thus making them look
like a hell of a hurdle for The Rhodes Brothers to leap. Cody Rhodes shows all
the main event calibre talent needed for WWE to be comfortable in pushing him
up the card when his time comes, with a solid showing including an excellent
moonsault from the top rope which is pitch perfect. Goldust shines in his
limited time in the ring – which was wise by WWE to use him sparingly – and The
Shield selflessly sacrifice themselves to make sure Cody Rhodes gets over in
star making qualities which are beyond their years. In doing so, Reigns and
Rollins look like stars themselves. It’s logical, tense and entertaining mixing
in near falls – a thrilling two and a half count after a thunderous Alabama
Slam – nostalgia spots – where Dusty Rhodes gets involved banishing Dean
Ambrose with a ‘Dusty Elbow’ – and an excellent closing few moments in which
the Crossroads and subsequent victory gets the biggest reaction of anything in
wrestling all year. WWE should have sent this match on last for that feel good
feeling.
Randy
Orton vs Daniel Bryan (Hell in a Cell, October 27th 2013) isn’t the greatest
Hell in a Cell Match in history but it isn’t totally horrible either, thanks to
Orton and Bryan’s enthusiasm. It’s no secret that their pay-per view matches
were somewhat of a let down but we know by now that when two awesome forces
such as these collide, they tend to cancel each other out. It’s a testament to
the audience that they’re still behind Bryan even after all the things that
have been said about him on Raw in the lead up to Hell in a Cell – it just goes
to prove that WWE don’t always have the power to make us believe what they want
– and this match shows that he’s much better than the current stuff he’s been
doing with The Wyatt Family. There are some fine moments to be seen here but
you get the overall impression that everything that could have been done has
been and maybe WWE were correct to move on with the pair and split them until
at least WrestleMania XXX. The match does dip in an out of pace when it should
really stick to a steady incline but Shawn Michaels does help proceedings along
as Special Guest Referee, though remains distant until the end. There’s a
beautiful Sunset Flip from Bryan from the top rope which lives up the bout and
those are followed with the standard counters and reversals which are good, but
don’t stop the feeling that this match goes too long. Towards the end of the
bout HBK comes into his own and the referee bump at the death signals the Shawn
Michaels turn which is done to perfection. So not all great but as I said,
there are moments here which still make you believe.
Weaknesses:
From
the ‘Best of Raw and Smackdown 2013’:
C.M
Punks Mocks Paul Bearer (Raw, April 1st) is still a sickening display of
disrespect by the WWE. Anyone who stands by this as the only way to hype The
Undertaker vs C.M Punk at WrestleMania 29 is wrong. There were many other ways
and the company should have found one. That anyone involved agreed to this is
just unbelievable. After everything Paul Bearer did for the company, this is
how they repay his memory? His family were rightfully disgusted as were the
audience inside the arena who had sit through a feeble Undertaker promo before
being bombarded with this rubbish. They do however chant C.M Punk for some
reason. As far as I can see, everyone involved should be heavily ashamed of
themselves.
Maddeningly,
WWE have still left the ad links in the matches thus they’re included as they
went out on the night, only to show us what happened during the break via the
WWE app. What’s the point of that? Just include the footage in the release.
Fandango
vs Kofi Kingston (Raw, April 8th) is a nonexistent bout which its running time
can be counted in seconds on two hands. Not so much of a match as a beat down
of a new talent, Chris Jericho gets involved almost immediately and pounds
Fandango for his victory the previous night at WrestleMania 29. How anyone at
WWE can class this drivel as the best of Raw and Smackdown is as baffling as
their selection process for these releases. The fans are loving it though and
still living up the Dolph Ziggler title victory. Fans ruled this Raw. The
stupidest thing about all of this though is that after being humiliated by
Jericho, the thing Fandango is most irate about is the ring announcer
pronouncing his name wrong.
Randy
Orton and Sheamus vs Big Show and Mark Henry (Smackdown, April 19th) is a
thorough bore. Not only does it take an age to get going, when it does it’s
only for short spurts of time before either Big Show and Mark Henry slow it
down again with mind numbing rest holds which when you fast forward through
looks like its on pause. That’s never a good sign. Sheamus and Orton do their
best to try and lift it but it never quite works. How many times can we sit
through a five minute nerve hold? Randy Orton does manage to kick the match up
a gear towards the end but it is too little too late, I’ve passed wind which
was more exciting than this. Big Show and Mark Henry look lazy and
uninterested.
Alberto
Del Rio’s Championship Fiesta (Smackdown, June 28th) is, unless you’re a
Mexican, a total snooze fest. Literally nothing happens until Dolph Ziggler
crashes the party and we’re forced to sit through Mexican folk bands playing
tunes and Del Rio whacking a Piñata with Ziggler’s face on it. It’s like being
at the worst party in the world where everyone is waiting for something to
happen and you’re forced to walk around relatives you don’t really like just to
make the time go quicker. The only thing which could have made this worse was
mad uncle Norman talking about his stamp collection and then proceeding to show
you pictures he’s taken.
The
Wyatt Family Make a Statement (Raw, July 15th) is an underwhelming segment and
a very loose piece of television as they wail away on R-Truth before Bray Wyatt
cuts a disjointed promo about the man who created us still being alive and
amongst us. It’s an underwhelming moment at the beginning of The Wyatt’s
career. The promo and beating aren’t strong enough to force them over as
serious threats and when they single out Kane as their first victim, you’re
kind of left guessing as to what the point was of them being there at all if
nothing meaningful was going to happen. Fans though do eat it all up, I guess
they’re so desperate for new stars they’ll take anything offered, weak or
strong. Only the ending proves a strong base when Bray Wyatt drops to his knees
over Truth’s fallen body and proclaims in a unsettling manner, “Follow the
Buzzards”.
Damien
Sandow Searches for his Briefcase (Smackdown, July 26th) boasts yet another
pointless set of separate segments joined together to make one long, very dull
sequence as Sandow searches for his Money in the Bank briefcase which Cody
Rhodes steals at the conclusion of Damien’s bout with Randy Orton. Until Sandow
gets to the river where Rhodes is waiting with the case, it’s a procession of
stomping about hallways yelling at people. The briefcase in the river spot also
feels overdone. WWE need to find someway of reimagining this, whilst Sandow
jumping in the river after stating he can’t swim is pure ridiculousness. This
has taken the place of an actual match.
Miz
TV With John Cena and Daniel Bryan (Raw, August 12th) is basically a suck up
segment in which both men kiss the arses of the audience big time. Both men are
wasted here as is their mic talent. Cena moronically says this is the most
exciting Miz TV ever, it’s far from it. Miz’s script is cringe achingly awful
and sounds like an amateur daytime soap. Cena grins through everything Daniel
Bryan says so we can’t take any of it seriously even when Bryan calls John Cena
a parody of a wrestler and accuses him of being in it for the fame and glory
and not for the wrestling. He just laughs, what a cock. Both men are in danger
of contracting cherry blossom poisoning the amount of boot licking they do.
Hilariously, Cena contradicts himself when he says that as long as there are
people behind him he’ll wrestle with a broken neck, funny that seeing as he
didn’t with a ripped muscle in his arm. If he says he can wrestle with a broken
neck then surely a torn bicep / elbow wouldn’t have hindered him. He needs to
watch what he’s saying because people do pick up on it. Halfway through John
Cena sounds like he’s about to cry and Miz may as well not be there as Cena
strikes again stating that what he does is wrestling. The way it’s put across
it’s as if WWE are trying to tell Daniel Bryan that what John Cena does is
actually wrestling and what he does is something else, it’s ridiculous and
somewhat infuriating to listen to. As Daniel Bryan tries to get across how
important SummerSlam is to him, John Cena shrugs it off and laughs as if it means
nothing. It goes on and on and on for at least fifteen to twenty minutes and
the only notable thing is the ending in which Cena looks ever inch the heel
when he slaps Bryan across the face.
Big
Show Faces Off With The Shield (Smackdown, September 13th) is an excellent
angle...if its main intention was to discredit The Shield in one foul swoop.
After a promo which could cure insomniacs and an apology to Triple H which
makes the former ‘Giant’ sound like a robot, Hunter laughable states that Big
Show is the locker room leader and that if a COO tells you to do something and
you fail to comply its grounds for dismissal. Rubbish! If your COO gives you a
gun and tells you to shoot your wife and kids that’s not grounds for dismissal
if you refuse. WWE need to check these scripts thoroughly before they let them
pass through. Worse, Triple H then tries to make us believe that millionaire
Big Show (yes, he really has accumulated millions. For what I’ll never know) is
broke. So broke in fact my minions he can afford to take time off after
Survivor Series. When The Shield get involved, Big Show dismantles them like
NXT jobbers giving no thought to their image or future development. It’s only
at the death of this tiresome segment the trio get the upper hand.
Championship
Ascension Ceremony (Raw, December 9th) is yet another bore where Randy Orton
and John Cena stand and verbally abuse each other amidst a group of former
champions. Triple H says that they’re in the ring with a collection of
celebrated champions when they’re surrounded by Big Show, Alberto Del Rio, Jack
Swagger, The Miz, Mark Henry, The Great Khali and Dolph Ziggler to name but a
few when in actual fact they’re everyone the company buried as champion and the
only real celebrated champions amongst the whole lot are Shawn Michaels, Bret
Hart, Booker T and Triple H. The crowd go nuts for Daniel Bryan and constantly
chant his name throughout the procession which visibly annoys Triple H and
Stephanie – they can’t make us think like them all the time – and John Cena
does a great job of arse kissing yet again when brings Bryan to the forefront
as someone who has worked for his success and that is why the audience love
him. The end sequence is at least impressive though as the showdown degenerates
into a brawl as C.M Punk attacks Randy Orton after being shoved, Triple H
attacks C.M Punk and Punk retaliates, Shawn Michaels nails Punk with Sweet Chin
Music, Daniel Bryan sends HBK to the mat with a Spinning Leg Sweep then sends
Randy Orton hurtling into Stephanie which gets him a Pedigree. The only sweeter
way this could have ended is if Bret Hart had have nailed Shawn Michaels.
Unfortunately its length and lack of content before the brawl makes it a chore
to sit through.
From
‘Best Pay-Per View Matches 2013’:
Alberto
Del Rio vs Rob Van Dam (Night of Champions, September 15th 2013) for the World
Heavyweight Championship isn’t the worst match ever but out of the matches
included on this release, it is one of the weakest – one of them has to be. The
match dips in the middle as rest holds are required and deployed in order for
RVD to gain some sort semblance to finish the spots planned but it’s the pacy
beginning and finish which do the bout justice. Van Dam misses a moonsault to
the outside and overshoots Del Rio but the champion oozes heel aura here and
its clear that there’s no way he should have lost the gold to John Cena at Hell
in a Cell. RVD does give the very best main event level performance he can but
anyone watching can see that he belongs in the mid-card position elevating
younger talent. Alberto Del Rio hits a wonderful backstabber and blocks the 5
Star Frog Splash with a reversal into the Cross Arm-breaker which is good but
could have been better. The DQ finish is lousy and even though it was set up so
the pair could do battle again at Battleground, RVD is so popular that Del Rio
could have gone over clean and people would still have accepted RVD back as
challenger the next month. The RVD Coast to Coast after the finish is as good
as it ever was – though a clumsy camera angle in the replay reveals Del Rio
holding the chair in place.
A.J
Lee vs Natalya vs Naomi vs Brie Bella (Night of Champions, September 15th 2013)
for the WWE Divas Championship begins with a baffling opening segment and goes
down hill from there. After her exceptionally good pipe bomb on Raw, A.J should
have been allowed to come out fighting to illustrate that she hates the reality
side of wrestling and is better than everyone in the ring with her. Instead WWE
make her run from her opponents, which makes her look weak. The match is a slow
bore which retreads old ground and adds nothing new to the women in the ring.
After so many great outings in the past, WWE should be ashamed of this. All
four try their best but it’s a total washout. Natalya slams Brie Bella on Naomi
but even though Naomi’s shoulders are down the referee doesn’t bother to make
the count as Natalya stands there like a deer in the headlights. Nothing flows
and this match looks and feels like a filler. Two of the four shouldn’t be
there at all.
Alberto
Del Rio vs John Cena (Hell in a Cell, October 27th 2013) is the usual trawl
through the usual Cena routine. On this night, John Cena seems to be riding his
comeback too much, neglecting to sell anything including the arm which he’d
been out of action with for two months. Judging by this, he should have stayed
away longer. It’s amazing that he still hasn’t bothered to learn anything new.
What did he do with that time? Alberto Del Rio would have been a better
replacement at TLC and would have added an air of authority to his character
had he been picked ahead of Cena to compete in the unification match. Sadly,
Del Rio hardly gets a look in here only to apply some mind numbing arm bars on
Cena which kill any momentum the match actually had. John Cena’s punches look
weak and more ridiculously, Alberto Del Rio has to sell them like they’re
devastating. The most ludicrous moment of the bout though comes when Del Rio
has what should have been the match winning Cross Arm Breaker on Cena, and Cena
– who has just returned from an injury from the very same arm, simply stand up
like nothing has been wrong with the appendage and lifts up Del Rio’s whole
weight. It’s just dumb. It’s clear that WWE don’t care about Alberto Del Rio’s
career and just wanted to get John Cena back on top. Terrible.
Conclusion:
The
purchase of this release depends upon a great many things. Seeing as this
release has been previously released in single form earlier in the year, then
anyone who owns both has no need to purchase the release as it’s the exact same
just stuffed into one box set. The same goes for anyone who already owns every
2013 pay-per view event in their collection – in this instance then you may
just want to purchase The Best of Raw and Smackdown 2013 on its own, you’ll
find no other extras on the release to tempt you into buying something you
already own on individual releases.
If
you don’t own either and are missing a significant amount of 2013’s pay-per
view events then this release is a must. At a price of £19.99 you’re basically
getting one release free and whilst it’s wholly aimed at people who don’t want
to spend out on the separate releases at a combined amount of £40.00 there is
so much quality here to justify its asking price.
It
may be released in November but the combined effort of putting two releases
into one box set screams that this is meant for Christmas, and to be honest,
you won’t find a better wrestling related Christmas present for such a bargain
price. The Best of Raw and Smackdown boasts some stuff you almost certainly may
have not seen if you’re not a regular viewer to WWE’s weekly television shows
and The Best Pay-Per View Matches 2013 are almost all of top quality. The
weaknesses on each release I imagine people will also find some quality in.
If
you own one release then just buy the other separately. If you don’t own
either, then treat yourself, you won’t be disappointed.
Rating: A
Next time in Review
Corner: WWE Macho Man – The Randy Savage Story
DVD and Blu-ray
Onwards
and upwards...
